my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
