My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize