ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
