Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
