He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
