I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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