Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
