Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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