no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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