I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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