Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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