please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
