And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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