Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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