It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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