i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
