i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
