She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
