I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
