He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
