the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
