i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
