Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He did a backflip because drugs
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