A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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