i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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