best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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