I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
