The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
