and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
