new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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