I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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