Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
