is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was like eating out sand paper
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
