I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize