I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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