You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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