with your own penis?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
