Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
