Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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