I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
