It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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