I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
