By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
