I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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