what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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