All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
