And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
