Kiss
Puke
do herpes really smell.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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