I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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