i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am one with the molecules
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
