Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
