I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
