i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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