I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize