this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
