So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
