Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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