My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
