Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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