I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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