Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
