1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
