yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize