guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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